“If There’s No Crust, It’s a Bust” Great Chicken Pot Pie Debate Rages On, Threatens to Sink Old Gaelic

After 45 years of camaraderie and brotherhood, wins and losses, black eyes and busted noses, a vicious debate threatens to destroy Old Gaelic from the inside. The Great Chicken Pot Pie Debate has spilled from 2020 into 2021, and continues to spread like a malignant tumor. Crust or no crust? Pot pie or bott boi? Let’s take a closer look at this most vicious of arguments.

“If there’s no crust, it’s a bust,” Davey “Gravy” Young quipped, thinking this simple statement would bring the debate to a close once and for all. Good God, he could not have been more wrong.

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, and if you ever say it around me, I’ll punch you in the face,” was the retort from a wounded Curtis Brillhart, firmly in the “crustless” camp. (Just like grandma used to make).

“If it’s not made in a pot, how can it be chicken POT pie,” added Russ Kane. “If there’s a crust and you put it in the oven, it’s just chicken pie. No more, no less.”

“The crust is what makes it a chicken pot PIE, you insolent fool,” retorted Brian Hart, one of the most ardent supporters of Team Crust.

And you see what brings us to these troublesome times today. While strong arguments were made from both sides and the debates raged on, Team Crustless was delivered a vicious blow that they may not ever be able to fully recover from. A recording of a google image search of “chicken pot pie” that displayed a page full of crusty results was shared, which left Team Crustless floored.

“Seeing that google image result… it was tough,” said an emotional Brillhart. “It really made me re-examine some things I thought I knew about my family history.”

Further research into the matter revealed that chicken pot pie, in its crustless form, is commonly referred to as “bott boi.” Traced as far back as the 17th century England, bott boi as we know it took a turn for the better when early Pennsylvania Dutch settlers added noodles to the dish, turning it from the bland, flavorless typically awful British meal to the delicious Pennsylvania staple you see before us today.

While the debate has cooled a bit, the bruised egos and wounded feelings will remain for a time.

“Traveling with 14 men. Near mergers with Harrisburg. Old Gaelic’s been through some bleak times, but I think this was as close as it got to breaking the team apart,” said Hart. “It was a close call. But we made it through. I think.”

“I guess the only thing to do is to get together, and enjoy our pot pies and bott bois together,” conceded Brillhart. “Except Davey. He’s not getting any of my bott boi. Fuck him.”

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