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Frank Lentz Memorial T-shirts Now Available

In Memory of our dearly departed friend and leader Frank Lentz. Available for purchase to Old Boys, family members, and any other interested parties for $20 to cover costs and make a small donation to the club. All current active players will receive them at practice with paid dues.Interested in a shirt? We will have them on 5/22 at our home game vs Lancaster Roses. If you can’t make that, please message Alex Diegel.

Old Gaelic Safety Coordinator Sommerville: Shedstaurant Health Violations on “Scale I’ve never seen.” 

Upon a review of the health and safety protocols of Old Gaelic’s beloved Shestaurant, Safety Coordinator Paul Sommerville stood horrified at the results.

“I’ve never seen such blatant violations, ” Sommerville said in between bites of a freshly-grilled long hawt. “Old Gaelic’s going to really have to bring things up to code. Or else, ya know,” he said before shaking his wallet before the club officers.

Sommerville was given a dollar off of his dues to keep his mouth shut. Allegedly.

Diegel Offers Meats in Recruitment Pitch to All Blacks’ Isaac Ross; Decision Pending

While interviewing new Austin Gilgronis’ and former New Zealand All Blacks’ lock Isaac Ross for his story in The Rugby Network, Old Gaelic President Alex Diegel made Ross an offer he… might… err… likely…. almost definitely will refuse.

“I know you’re under contract,” Diegel said. “And we can’t really pay you. But we can offer you a lot of grilled meats.”

“You can never turn down quality meats,” the 6’7″ Kiwi replied. “What an opportunity.”

Ross is under contract through 2022. But the window is cracked open just enough to slide a sausage through.

The previous story found in April’s edition of The Nose has been stricken from the record.

Snow Hoops a Hit Amidst Pandemic

As Old Gaelic players continue to look for ways to stay together safely amongst the pandemic, a snow-covered pitch was not enough to curtail a night of hoops and grilling at The Shed.

As players struggled to adapt to the conditions, Chris Armbrust finally notched the game’s first drop goal — only to be negated by Russ Kane! The weary combatants slugged on, with the team of Jude, Chris, and Davey taking the first victory of the night.

Team Russ, Diegel, and Jerry took Game Two in a true battle of attrition. Game Three took place at The Shed wear the worthy combatants ate hot meats and drank cold beers, making everyone a winner on this most frigid of events.

In lieu of the traditional “Winter Tour,” Old Gaelic has also gotten together for sledding and a night of bowling. As the calendar flips to March, weather should cooperate and get us out of hibernation and back to some rugby on the pitch.

Dates for Modified Spring Season Tentatively Set

While an official Spring season has been cancelled, the EPRU has authorized friendlies, pending the guidelines for activities as set by local jurisdictions. After surveying internal interest and attending a meeting of fellow EPRU D2 Men’s teams, it was determined Old Gaelic would participate in a season of Spring friendlies.

Spring practices will begin on Tuesday, March 15, giving players a full month to prepare before our first scheduled friendly on April 17.

Find below the first iteration of the Spring schedule. This is by no means set in stone, and subject to change. Of course, following the COVID data and protocols are essential to any of these games being seen through. The format of games are to be determined between the teams involved, and very well may include modifications such as no live scrums or lineouts.

Stay tuned in the coming weeks for further announcements:

April 17 @ Phoenixville-Whitehorse
April 24 Bye
May 1 vs. Doylestown
May 8 Open/Makeup Date
May 15 vs. Philly Whitemarsh
May 22 vs. Lancaster*

Please save May 22 on your calendars as a team day. This is the Saturday closest to what would have been Frank Lentz’ 45th Birthday and will likely double as our 45th Anniversary party. Details to come.

“If There’s No Crust, It’s a Bust” Great Chicken Pot Pie Debate Rages On, Threatens to Sink Old Gaelic

After 45 years of camaraderie and brotherhood, wins and losses, black eyes and busted noses, a vicious debate threatens to destroy Old Gaelic from the inside. The Great Chicken Pot Pie Debate has spilled from 2020 into 2021, and continues to spread like a malignant tumor. Crust or no crust? Pot pie or bott boi? Let’s take a closer look at this most vicious of arguments.

“If there’s no crust, it’s a bust,” Davey “Gravy” Young quipped, thinking this simple statement would bring the debate to a close once and for all. Good God, he could not have been more wrong.

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, and if you ever say it around me, I’ll punch you in the face,” was the retort from a wounded Curtis Brillhart, firmly in the “crustless” camp. (Just like grandma used to make).

“If it’s not made in a pot, how can it be chicken POT pie,” added Russ Kane. “If there’s a crust and you put it in the oven, it’s just chicken pie. No more, no less.”

“The crust is what makes it a chicken pot PIE, you insolent fool,” retorted Brian Hart, one of the most ardent supporters of Team Crust.

And you see what brings us to these troublesome times today. While strong arguments were made from both sides and the debates raged on, Team Crustless was delivered a vicious blow that they may not ever be able to fully recover from. A recording of a google image search of “chicken pot pie” that displayed a page full of crusty results was shared, which left Team Crustless floored.


“Seeing that google image result… it was tough,” said an emotional Brillhart. “It really made me re-examine some things I thought I knew about my family history.”

Further research into the matter revealed that chicken pot pie, in its crustless form, is commonly referred to as “bott boi.” Traced as far back as the 17th century England, bott boi as we know it took a turn for the better when early Pennsylvania Dutch settlers added noodles to the dish, turning it from the bland, flavorless typically awful British meal to the delicious Pennsylvania staple you see before us today.

While the debate has cooled a bit, the bruised egos and wounded feelings will remain for a time.

“Traveling with 14 men. Near mergers with Harrisburg. Old Gaelic’s been through some bleak times, but I think this was as close as it got to breaking the team apart,” said Hart. “It was a close call. But we made it through. I think.”

“I guess the only thing to do is to get together, and enjoy our pot pies and bott bois together,” conceded Brillhart. “Except Davey. He’s not getting any of my bott boi. Fuck him.”


Status of the 2021 Spring Season

Given the ever-changing stats of the COVID-19 pandemic, it is impossible to predict what will come of the spring season. Even if the below does not happen, we can hope for some friendlies later in the spring. Old Gaelic leadership will update players and Old Boys as soon as any official word is made from the EPRU/MAC.

Here is the proposed schedule, as things stand as of January 28, 2021.

March 6 – Open

March 13 – Open

March 20 – @ Phoenixville Whitehorse

March 27 – @ Roses RFC (Susquehanna Cup)

April  3 – Easter / open

April 10 – vs Wilmington

April 17 – Make up / open

April 24 – East/West playoffs

May 1 – Quarterfinals

May 8 – Semifinals

May 15 – Championship

Classifieds

  • Wanted: Meniscuses. Call Curtis Brillhart
  • For free: Coffee table. Call Alex Diegel
  • Wanted: New feet. Call Nick Dettorre
  • Wanted: A loose woman with low self esteem. Call Chowder
  • Wanted: Shed cheese. Call Alex Diegel

Canoeing at The Slum

As told by Robbie Morris, Old Boy and original 5 Neat Guys’ Member

Key players:

Joe Patsy: Old Gaelic Founder. RIP.
Paul Meuron: Recently-passed (January, 2021) Old Boy and past Old Gaelic President
The Slum: Legendary Old Gaelic party house of ’80s lore
Denny: Old Boy and original 5 Neat Guys’ member

There was a rugby party at the slum early in the 1983 season, following a game with Wissahickon, a team from Philly that we had a good relationship with .As parties go, this one got a little out of hand.

Our team President at that time and voice of reason, Elvis, was last seen in a tree in the backyard.  I remember also a tree got pushed over in the yard, just because…

At some point Patsy finds a sled in the garage and brings it in the house and goes up the stairs with it. I tried to talk him out of it, but if you knew Patsy, when he had his mind made up there was no changing it. Sure thing, Joe lays down on the sled and down he goes. This sled really went fast and at the bottom, hits the floor, Patsy’s head hits the floor. He gets up, rubbing his head. Two guys from Wissahickon  go up the stairs and do a two man- sit down, and they came roaring down the steps and both go flying. Patsy goes back up, undaunted, goes down again. Same result. I cannot describe well enough, how fast and how hard their faces hit the floor. Now the two Wissahickon guys go back, but Jimmy Rosario’s brother wants to be top man on a three man triple. So they do a triple, laying down.

Down they go. Top guy gets up, rubbing his head, middle guy gets up, rubbing his head. Bottom guy does not get up.

When he finally turns over, he had deep cuts/ gouges, 7/8 places on his face, his nose looked broken in a few spots. Patsy rolls his face with some paper towels. Brutal.

They decided to leave, so we gave them a few pitcher’s of beer, and off they went.The next day, Sunday, Paul, Mark, and a few other slum goers are watching football, when they hear a noise,  and some guy from Wissahickon crawls out from behind the couch!

I believe Paul gave him a lift to the Turnpike. I always remember Paul telling that story with a laugh.

End of season banquet, in came the canoe!   

Epilogue


The next summer, a bunch of us rented a place in Avalon, NJ. Patsy,& Denny Melishoskis drive down late Friday night and got there at about 7am. Joe was really tuned up, waking everyone up, creating havoc. Joe decided to go visit Don Foster, who was staying in Cape May with his parents, so off they go.

Eventually, the house comes alive and, of course, everyone’s talking about Patsy. Around 10 a.m. Denny comes back in, tells us this story.  They got down to Cape May, to where Joe thinks is the Foster’s house. Joe goes in the house, and decides to change into bathing suit in the living room. Denny isn’t sure this is the right house, so he checks a pocketbook on the table… not the Foster’s, wrong house, and Patsy is naked hopping around trying to put a jock on.

Denny gets Joe outside, and they go in the next house  which was the Foster’s. Once again, Joe gets naked and attempts to change.

Don Foster hears noises and comes down the stairs to check, with his Mother right behind him, to find Joe bareass naked fumbling to get a jock on. 

Mom, mom. Go back,  go back!” So rather quickly, the Cape May visit is over, and they come back to Avalon. Patsy passes out in the passenger side on the way.

Now , it’s a very hot day, in the 90’s already, when Denny tells us this story. Many wanted to leave Joe in the car to sleep it off, but Paul felt it was too hot, and went to bring  Joe inside. Paul gets to the car, the door is open, and Patsy has crawled across the street and is passed out on the lawn of the bungalow across the street. On the porch is an angry Mother, shielding two small children.

Does this belong to you” she shouted. “Yes,” said Paul sheepishly.  I still laugh thinking about Paul telling that story, and I remember Paul as a great teammate and friend.He was quick to make you laugh, He’ll be missed. 

Joe slept it off most of the day, but was out and about hitting the clubs. They ran in to some of the guys from Wissahickon, including the bottom of the three- man-triple.

He said, “When we were getting off the turnpike at Valley Forge I woke up. I felt my face, and it felt like a glazed donut.”

Best line ever…

Important Spring Dates

1/28 – Team Workout

1/30 – Tour Date

2/4 – Team Workout

2/6 – Tour Date

2/11 – Team Workout

2/13 – Perry County Tour – Now with more smoke

2/18 – Outdoor Practice Start or Team Workout

3/7 Possible Home Friendly vs. PERC (Potomac Exiles Rugby Club)

3/8 Possible Maul Crawl™

3/29 Team trip to watch Old Glory v. RUNY

3/14 vs NP

3/21 @ PWM

3/28 make-up date 

4/4 open

4/11 open (Easter weekend) 

4/18 playoffs (semifinal) 

4/25 playoffs (final)