Whether it’s been team workouts, winter hoops, or social Tours, one question has flooded the team like hurricane waters through New Orleans: “WHERE’S LEGGETT???”

The assumption was the elusive fullback was just busy. Or choosing his social interactions carefully amidst COVID. However, while trying to distract himself from the depression of this missing Friendship, club President Alex Diegel made an Earth-shattering discovery.

“I was just trying to cheer myself up, reading through the old Noses when I made the observation of a lifetime.” Diegel took a deep breath, sipped on a Double Nugget Nectar, looked around to make sure they weren’t being watched, then continued. “Leggett’s a time traveler,” he whispered. “And I think he’s stuck in the year 1987.”

Diegel proceeded to call Captain Brian Hart, Leggett’s longtime friend and fellow Millersville Rugby graduate. “I couldn’t deny, it made perfect sense,” Hart said with a sigh. “The last time we talked, he kept bringing up Old Gaelic after parties of yesteryear. it seemed like he really wanted to go back and experience it himself, but I didn’t think he’d take it that far. Then, Diegel showed me The Photo. And it hit me. He’s gone.”

Has there been a mechanical malfunction? Is he just having too much fun in the ’80s Old Gaelic lifestyle? Any leads are welcome. Please, homeowners of Mechanicsburg, take a close look at your appliances. The going theory is he’s crafted an HVAC Time Machine of some sort. We just want our friendship back.