In a disturbing leak to the media, local police officer Christopher Armbrust’s visit to Epstein Island has been confirmed. After years of denial, the photo evidence has verified and deemed irrefutable by investigators. Still, Armbrust tried to deny the significance of the photo.

“I was there for lunch. It was a private event for Zaddy (Armbrust’s prefered moniker for President Donald Trump). We were just there fundraising for his PAC. Nothing more.”

When pressed further for details of the encounter, Armbrust remarked: “The halibut was unbelievable. Waitresses seemed young, though,” he added, with a hundred yard stare past reporters.

Given the current state of affairs in the country, local pundits and political experts seem to believe this can only help his cause if he was to switch into politics. Somehow.