It’s a scary world in 2026. Cameras are everywhere. No act of buffoonery is safe. Gone are the days of Millennial basement parties, when you were free to black out surrounded by mold at your leisure without fear of evidential backlash. (The herpes was for life though). You think your safe for years, then BOOM there you are, caught, red handed.

The Nose News Network has recently been sent a number of damning pieces of such evidence. Even the finest of nonprofit organizations like Old Gaelic Rugby, with decades of goodwill in the community, can see some of its members taken down by their weakest moments.

Recently Uncovered Surveillance Footage Reveals Truth Behind Broken Goalposts

In shocking a shocking turn of events, footage from the practice field on 114 was recovered and proved, beyond a reasonable doubt, who the perpetrator of the 2021 goalpost destruction was.

“I was sitting at the Club, having a drink with Swankie, the old field owner” explained team Groundsman Dan “The Ambassador” Reisman. “He looked at me, and said, Danny, I was looking at some of the old trail and deer camera footage I had out there. And you aren’t going to believe this.”

A well-known white Corolla was spotted doing doughnuts, when the driver Davy “Gravy” Young was spotted behind the wheel. As he lost control, the vehicle spun out into the goalposts, where Young was quick to flee before the rest of the team Hoospters arrived for the evening’s activities.

“I grew suspicious when I asked Dave about it, and he proceeded to describe in details, a series of events that appeared to be the exact act that destroyed the posts,” said longtime coach Dan Roth. “He said it was just a hypothetical. But it seemed far fetched at the time.”

“I just have one word to describe this footage: Vindication,” explained club President Alex Diegel. “I always knew it was Dave.”

When reached for comment, Young provided a brief statement: “Yo, fuck you DIegel.”

Old Gaelic is working with its team of legal representatives to ensure this act of domestic terror receives its proper justice.

View the disturbing footage:

7s Video Analysis Reveals Team has Clipboard Assassin in its Midst

While conducting offseason film review, Kenny “Eyes” Levick heard a disturbing snap just off camera near the sideline. Fearing one of his players had cracked a bone or torn a ligament, Levick used his veteran guile to turn the Veo settings to interactive mode and investigate. What he uncovered was a shocking revelation.

“I was wondering where the money went for the summer. Like, ‘What are we spending all of our money on?’ Apparently, all this time it was clipboards.”

For every turnover. Snap. Every instance of attacking the middle. Snap. Every call from Referee Max Diglio. Snap. On and on it went throughout the season.

The perpetrator? None other than Coache Sykes’ (seemingly) loyal assistant, Paul Holmes.

When reached for comment, Holmes was without remorse. On the contrary, Holmes found it to be a necessary act of therapeutic remediation.

“Well, I couldn’t play anymore and hit someone on the field,” the veteran explained. “So anytime the boys pissed me off, something had to go.”

View the shocking footage:

Local Police Officer Armbrust’s Visit to Epstein Island Uncovered in Photo

In a shocking leak to the media, local police officer Christopher Armbrust’s visit to Epstein Island has been confirmed. After years of denial, the photo evidence has verified and deemed irrefutable by investigators. Still, Armbrust tried to deny the significance of the photo.

“I was there for lunch. It was a private event for Zaddy (Armbrust’s prefered moniker for President Donald Trump). We were just there fundraising for his PAC. Nothing more.”

When pressed further for details of the encounter, Armbrust remarked: “The halibut was unbelievable. Waitresses seemed young, though,” he added, with a hundred yard stare past reporters.

Given the current state of affairs in the country, local pundits and political experts seem to believe this can only help his cause if he was to switch into politics. Somehow.