It was a bigger upset than Colorado over TCU. A more ghastly result than what awaits after eating a KFC Double Down sandwich. In a historic turn of events with unforeseen consequences, grizzled rule-bending forward Alex Diegel was voted as the EPRU’s Disciplinary Chair on a dark and stormy Sunday night.

“I’ve heard him threaten to murder someone on more than one occasion,” said frightened wing Alex Schaefer. “Then he showed me the knife!”

“As someone who has played 17 years, gotten plenty of yellow cards, but no reds, I think I know where the line is,” Diegel explained in his campaign.* “That’s why I think you should vote for me. Or don’t. I don’t fuckin’ care.”

After the surprising result, the Gaelic President was forced to reflect on the historic nature of this election. “I supposed if I’m caught now, I’ll have to turn to the boys, look them in the eyes and quote one of my heroes:”

“Suck my wiener,” local crooked cop Chris Armbrust was soon heard to say to the new Disciplinary Chair, in what could only be taken as some sort of odd attempt to solicit a bribe. (That’s not how bribes work, Chris).

This is an ongoing story and will be updated.

* Yes, this was an actual campaign quote.

Old Gaelic traveled to Cherry Hill, NJ and left the South Jersey Dragons’ home pitch with a championship trophy in hand. OG proved too much for the opposition, with a perfect 6-0 record in a dominant run toward the Cup. 

Kory Harris and MSM import “Eyyoo” Ayo proved too much for defenses with long tries throughout the day, with Amer returning to OG to dot a couple down for Mother Bosnia. A cadre of powerful and athletic forwards beat up the middle of the field to open up space, while Richard “Squirrel Master” Recordon put it all together with strong play at scrum half throughout the day. Congratulations to all who made the trip and braved the wind and cold throughout the day. 

After kicking the year off with the 7s Tournament win, it’s a good time to look at the 2023 pre and regular season schedules.

I know, a rugby player? Plan ahead??

Humor me:

Tuesday, 1/24 at 7 pm and Tuesdays after until regular season begins: Offseason workouts at Crossfit 717. 836 Market St. Lemoyne, PA
Thursday, 1/26: Townie Garage Tour
Thursday, February 16: Gettysburg Ghost Tour
Thursday, 3/2: (weather pending): First outdoor practice
Saturday, 3/4: Save the Date (early planning stages) Carlisle Pike Tour

Match Schedule:
3/11 at North Bay (Aberdeen, MD)
3/18 v. Roses
3/25 at Harrisburg
4/1 Rd 1 EPRU Semifinals (Home)
4/15 EPRU Finals (Neutral Site)
4/29-4/30 Atlantic Super Regional (TBD)

With the RFU’s announcement that any tackle above the waist will be a high tackle penalty, it’s only a matter of time that World Rugby follows suit and it’s the new standard in club rugby across the globe. While this caused much rabble rousing amongst the OG faithful, one Old Gaelic’s eyes sparkled with excitement. 

“If you are tackling above the waist, you learned wrong,” said Jerry Gould. “Tackling thighs is the gold standard in all sports. Baby, I’m back!”

When Old Gaelic *CV alums Jase Martin, Richard “Squirrel Recordon” and Alex Diegel offered retorts about different techniques and body types, Gould asked, “Who taught you how to tackle?” 

The trio looked at each other and responded in unison: “Dano.” 

“Figures,” said Gould. 

* Fellow CV alums Chris Armbrust, Brian Hart and Brady Reisman offered no such rebuttals, because they are short.

A live look at Jerry’s reaction to these photos:

It all started early on on Hoopsgiving Day,
Dante pulled out his bird but not in a manner not gay,
Next it was time to roll up our sleeves,
For its Lions Club season and time to sling Trees,
Then ‘Twas time for the party at the ol’ Caddyshack,
Where the Five Neat Guys gave plenty for the crowd to react,
Then it was off the Madre to continue the fun ,
We continued to drink even though we should have been done,
It was only a precursor to some social 7s fun,
On Paulie, on Weave, on Paulie Again,
It’s time to play Pagoda with a bunch of your friends,
Lee chip kicked for the try and said “listen, ya hear,”
Then in overtime Diegel found that elusive Fifth Gear,
Alas the Championship was not to follow the dub,
Yet we all know we play for the best brugby club,
So to all Gaelic we wish a Merry Christmas Night,
This Spring we continue the Championship Fight.

(Enjoy some photos below from our “off”season)

(Inspired by a Dano Limerick)

‘Twas time for Christmas Carols to be heard near and far,
But due to foul weather, Gaelic was confined to the bar,
In through the door came two fellas, who wanted to fight,
They knew not how poorly that would impact their night,
I sprang from the bar to see what was the matter, 
There was spilling of beer and a glass had just shattered,  
Twas Jerry who’d been hit and knocked to the floor, 
Fear not, Russy came and dragged a perp to the door,
Chris gave him the word and he flung the boy through the border,
Diegel heard the ruckus and decreed an Executive Order,
For the fuccboi had made the acts of a fool,
It was time to toss him in a puddle deep as a pool,
And when that wasn’t enough and his friend came for a bout,
It was time to spar and knock the bigger one out,
But the pair wasn’t done they were looking for more,
Out came Weave, Porter and Hart through the door,
Alas, they decided, the duo was beat,
It’s time for more Friendship at Market Street,
So they closed all their tabs and off they went,
To Cheers their good friend, El Presidente. Frank Lentz,
As the club regaled in street justice done right,
They said Merry Christmas and to all a good night.

After a nap and a cigarette following a good fuck of Doylestown, Old Gaelic reconvened at Diegel Dungeon for Halloween Fun. Highlights included a bubble butt off between one of Freddy Mercury’s Fat Bottom Girls and Curtis, a special ventriloquism show by the Brillharts, a visit from Middle Earth and an undefeated Beer Pong run from Brady and… his partner.

Thanks to everyone who came out and to the Dettorres for hosting an adult-and-kid Trick or Treat last week.

You can check out the costumes from the digital season album here.

With late-season injuries mounting, Old Gaelic traveled without a full 23-man panel for the first time this season looking to avenge last season’s playoff loss to Doylestown.

A turnover on the opening kickoff put the hosts on the front foot, and the big Dtown 12 ran downhill on the opening possession. The center broke a few tackles and Doylestown struck first, proving it was down but not out this season.

Old Gaelic calmly regrouped and marched down the field with some sustained possession. OG brought a big center of its own and famed member of the “Dad Bod Squad” Josh “Jrobs” Robertson lunged through contact to score the visitors’ first try. A conversion from fly half Brady Reisman knotted up the game at 15.’

Doylestown struck back with a backline break, then it was the “rookie” veteran Paul Holmes who dotted down before halftime.

Old Gaelic seized the lead when speedy wing Alex Schaefer took a kick that missed touch back to paydirt to put the good guys on top. A penalty kick ten minutes later extended the visitors’ lead to eight… no six (said the Ma’am. Definitely still not salty about it).

Doylestown broke through the defense off a busted lineout play, then converted the try to go up one with 12 to play. However, Jrobs dialed up the ’06 Astro Van Jams and dished to his center mate Richard Recordon who sprinted past the competition and put the Gaelic back on top. Wing Kory Harris sprinted past the competition moments later to make the lead two possessions and seal the victory.

The home team wasn’t done yet, however as it recovered a loose kickoff and scored near the corner to close up the final score, 32-26.

The win wrapped up a 4-1 Fall for Old Gaelic and secured a spot in the playoffs. With a win over the Roses next Spring or a Roses win over Media this Saturday, OG secures the second seed and a home match for the EPRU Semifinals.

Be on the lookout for Thursday hangs, WINTER TOUR, Caroling in Carlisle, the Non-Denominational Holiday Extravaganza, team workouts, and Hoops/Touch Saturdays.

A week after a preseason hitout vs. local Harrisburg and Shippensburg sides, Old Gaelic hosted South Jersey for its first league match of the season. Similar the week before, the hosts were able to move the ball well but saw early-season handling errors leaves some tries on the board.

However, after some calmer sustained play prop Sergio Acala punched in the game’s first score from the right-hand corner. He was followed by veteran lock Alex Diegel who picked after a strong OG attack and found some space off the fringe to beat the defense.

Rookie lock Pat Connolly then notched the next one off a Bronze following some sustained “Tres” play deep in South Jersey territory. Next up, an OG counter off of a South Jersey clearance found Acala, who took a whole three minutes (according to The Sir’s watch) to take the ball the final 60 meters for the emphatic half-ending try.

Old Gaelic put its stamp on the match early in the second half when, following an adjustment in the lineout to counter the visitors’ “sack” defense, Townsend alertly picked and went around the ruck for the hosts fifth try of the match. With a fresh crop of reserves , OG put the game away with tries from Schaefer, Acala’s third, another from Schaef, and a fancy pair of boots from reserve center Xavier Fangmeyer to pop a low pass up and finish a crafty break from center/fly half Josh Robertson.

Acala took home Man of the Match, playing a complete game on defense. Matthew Leggett deftly did the dirty work at the back, cleanly chasing SJ kicks and calmly countering, to take home the Viking Hard Hat Award.

Congratulations to Fangmeyer, Connolly, center Conor Kelly, hooker Chris Shissler, prop Mike DeFreitas, and lock JT Hammond for earning your first OG A-Side Caps.

Next up: It’s a rare double bye week due to a scheduling quirk, then a big away match versus Philly-Whitemarsh on October 8.