And so it was that Old Gaelic’s trainings in the terrible and treacherous East Shore came to an end. All it took was a little mid-training shootout amongst the locals to bring the Gaelic boys home.

So it was on a warm Tuesday evening when a team run was interrupted by a spray of gun fire that fortunately hit nothing but air. That didn’t stop squirrely fullback Matt Leggett from reacting accordingly.

“I can remember sitting on the couch as a boy with Ernie, watching Lawrence Fishburne’s fourth-best film (behind Matrixes 1-3 because duh), Boys in the Hood,”he explained. “And when it came to that scene… you know the one.” Leggett paused to choke back a tear and offer a thousand-yard stare.

“Ernie said to me, ‘son. If you’re ever practicing in Harrisburg and you hear gunfire, don’t be like Ricky. Zig zag, m’boy. Zig Zag.’ I really took that to heart. Any time I run, really. Just to be safe from any mean old forwards or other threats.”

When quizzed about their reactions, dem Fisher boys had different thoughts. “By the sounds of it, it was only a .22. Hell I could take a couple of them slugs and finish the match,” quipped Jeremy.

“A .22 is no proper defense weapon,” chimed in elder brother RJ. “You’re gonna want something like this,” he said before he pulled a Colt M1911 out of the back of his waste band, popped a round out of the chamber, removed the clip, and displayed proudly. “That’s a bad item right there.”

Still, decisions had to be made, and safety was of the team was paramount, Club Leadership decided.

“As I often do when faced with a tough decision, I weighed out the pros and cons when I thought about asking Don if we could train at our match field, Frank Lentz Memorial Park,” club President Alex Diegel explained. “And I thought, well, on the one hand, the worst Don could say is no. On the other hand, one of us could get shot in the face. It was a tough call, but I think we made the right choice.”

Practices will now resume at 260 Willow Mill Park Rd. Mechanicsburg on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 6:30-8:30.

Author’s note: Please do know this was taken very seriously and we are incredibly grateful to Don for getting us back on home soil.

Sergio’s note: “I told y’all.”

In the midst of the Qualifier season, the Central Penn Golden Roses joined forces with Old Gaelic at the local Harrisburg 7s tournament. There were no fewer than 40 Old Gaelic players and supporters in Pavilion Greyskull, which was complete with its own DJ Booth.

Both teams were upended in the quarterfinals after undefeated runs through Pool Play. OG1, which was actually OG3, but always #1 in our Hearts made its “mark” throughout the day with its beloved brand of BullyBall.

Old Gaelic Rugby. #1 in Friendship since 1975.

In a story more shocking than a David Young short film, a phenomenon rarer then a Brady Reisman “cycle,” Ganglez Twins Jase Martin and Alex Diegel welcomed daughters just days apart from one another.

Amelia Michelle Diegel was born on Tuesday, June 28 at 11:59 a.m. at 6lbs. 12 oz., 20 inches long.

Teagan Julia Martin was born on July 2 at 10:35 a.m. at 8lbs. 15 oz., 21.25″ long.

They will join the 2040 Old Gaelic women’s team, led by a core of Quinn and Josie Dettorre, co-captained by Eleanor Brillhart and Vivian Recordon.

Whether it’s been team workouts, winter hoops, or social Tours, one question has flooded the team like hurricane waters through New Orleans: “WHERE’S LEGGETT???”

The assumption was the elusive fullback was just busy. Or choosing his social interactions carefully amidst COVID. However, while trying to distract himself from the depression of this missing Friendship, club President Alex Diegel made an Earth-shattering discovery.

“I was just trying to cheer myself up, reading through the old Noses when I made the observation of a lifetime.” Diegel took a deep breath, sipped on a Double Nugget Nectar, looked around to make sure they weren’t being watched, then continued. “Leggett’s a time traveler,” he whispered. “And I think he’s stuck in the year 1987.”

Diegel proceeded to call Captain Brian Hart, Leggett’s longtime friend and fellow Millersville Rugby graduate. “I couldn’t deny, it made perfect sense,” Hart said with a sigh. “The last time we talked, he kept bringing up Old Gaelic after parties of yesteryear. it seemed like he really wanted to go back and experience it himself, but I didn’t think he’d take it that far. Then, Diegel showed me The Photo. And it hit me. He’s gone.”

Has there been a mechanical malfunction? Is he just having too much fun in the ’80s Old Gaelic lifestyle? Any leads are welcome. Please, homeowners of Mechanicsburg, take a close look at your appliances. The going theory is he’s crafted an HVAC Time Machine of some sort. We just want our friendship back.

While Diegel’s habit of licking doorknobs and sniffing butts finally caught up to him and caused a one-week pause to the team workouts, they are back on for Tuesday nights.

Join our very own Porter Miller at Crossfit717 (836 Market St, Lemoyne, PA BEHIND the Dollar Store/Little Caesar’s your gps will take you to) on Tuesdays at 6:45 for an intense hour of rugby-specific exercise. We’ll be doing these workouts until we are back outside on Tuesdays and Thursdays this March.

We’ve got a great opportunity to do some special things this Spring. Let’s make the most of it by putting the work in now that our rivals aren’t.

In all seriousness, as to not downplay a worldwide pandemic, Diegel and family are fine.

As you have likely heard by now, Old Gaelic’s 20-year lease at Swank Field runs out at the end of the month. While OG has secured a location across the river at 7th and Radnor Park, we are still in search of something that can feel a bit more like “home.” Now’s the time to pull out all the stops.

Your wife’s cousin’s rich uncle? Give him a call. A property with a drainage ditch, or other space that looks like it could be used in exchange for maintenance? Stop by and ask. The shotgun-wielding farmer you see on your way home from work? Drop in and see if he’d be willing to rent out some space. I’m sure he’s friendly when you get to know him.

In all seriousness while we are grateful to have secured field space and can likely continue to rent it out for as long as we need, we are seeking a more stable long-term solution.

Please send your contacts, thoughts and half-baked schemes to Alex Diegel at diegelam@gmail.com.

With its longtime practice home at Glenn Swank Field soon to be turned to residential housing, Old Gaelic has found a new home for now, trekking all the way to the dreaded West Shore for the Spring 2022 season. While the team hopes to find long term residence back on its own shores, the park at 7th and Radnor in Harrisburg will serve just fine for now, and serves as a warning shot to its low rent neighbors in blue.

“I called Scooter to give him a heads up as best I could,” said Captain and Match Secretary Brian Hart. “Unfortunately, much like my calls to schedule a friendly with Harrisburg, this one was left unanswered.”

Someone should make a sign.

Get pinged for a DUI on your way home from the Holiday Extravaganza? Better call Cappy. Find yourself under a bridge with lady of the night at 4 am? Better call Cap. Need to know an official ruling for a controversial call in hoops? Better Call Cappy. Take your bird out for a piss outside of a bar that just happened to be a little too close to a children’s park? BETTER CALL CAPPY.

For all your legal needs and more, Jeff “Cappy” Cook is happy to be your officially unofficial advisor. In fact, find the complete list below for services available:

• Personal Injury
• Trials
• Sports Writing
• Divorce
• Custody
• Sports Commentating
• Criminal Representation
• OTHER STUFF!

* Evening appointments available.

It may be the offseason, but where this is rugby to played, Old Gaelic will find it. Congratulations to Kory Harris and Sergio Acala for making the local select side, Philly United. They will play against the Capital/Old Glory Selects this Saturday, December 4th. While this means they’ll most likely miss the F****** Catalina Wine Mixer, we wish them luck.

A dozen+ OG Ruggers will also be getting a run in on Saturday at the Pagoda 7s Classic, where Gaelic will take their rightful possession of the Cup and bring it to the party for all to enjoy.

Of course, throughout the offseason we will continue Hoops Thursdays. Come get a run around with your friends, and stay tuned for some more structured offseason fitness programs.